It strikes us that perhaps there is something to this supposed “structural racism” after all. How else did the blacks get stuck with the shortest month, February, for Black History Month? Women’s History Month is in a real full month, as is pride month in June, and all the other months, whatever history they supposedly celebrate. And the blacks have to share “Juneteenth” with the pride people, which must really chaff non-pride blacks.
Obviously a remedy is needed for this outrageous discrimination. Therefore, we propose that President Biden should issue [yet] another Executive Order mandating that February, in the name of diversity, equity and inclusion, henceforth shall have 31 days each year. To achieve that, such an Order could, say, eliminate President’s Day out of January (since that’s just a bunch of mostly old white guys), the 4th of July out of July (since we’re a racist country with nothing patriotic to celebrate that doesn’t trample on the rights of blacks), and Thanksgiving out of November (since only whites have anything to celebrate). In Bidenese, that would make the enlargement of February already “paid for.”