Well, he’s gone and done it. Our kitten Blackie has got himself a lawyer and is suing his brother Bullie. As noted in a prior post, Blackie resents the discrimination he has suffered because of his orange-striped brother’s Orange Privilege. We all know that for 400 years or so the systemic kittenism practiced by those kittens with Orange Privilege has left black (and brown) kittens at significant economic and social disadvantages, even in our enlightened 2020. For example, when we take both to the vets, the vet typically greets and treats Bullie first and leaves Blackie for last. Bullie often pushes Blackie away from his food bowl, despite the fact that each has his own bowl. Bullie is always the first one in to a fresh litterbox even if it means shouldering Blackie out of the way. Bullie demands attention first and for longer than Blackie. Bullie takes the more comfortable napping spots, especially on the window sills on sunny days.
Blackie tries to protest but Bullie also has the local law enforcement authorities, namely Mopsie the Wonder Dog, in his back pocket. Mopsie, though suffering from her own Dog Privilege, has been completely corrupted by Bullie’s payoffs of treats and so plays amicably with him, but is rougher with Blackie and just generally is not as nice to Blackie as to Bullie. Mopsie won’t let Blackie on the couch with her, but will let Bullie snuggle sometimes. We also have noticed that Bullie’s fur is softer and easier to stroke than Blackie’s so we’re apt to do it more often, so there is “fur discrimination” at work too it seems.
Anyway, Blackie apparantly has had enough and has resorted to the legal system and seeks a trial by a jury of his peers. Of course, jury selection is stacked against Blackie since numerous studies over the years have proven that Orange Privilege is a factor in kitten juries too. So his lawyer is advocating for a change in the law to make kitten defendants exercising a peremptory challenge to state sensible reasons therefor to the judge.
Blackie is also claiming a great deal of emotional distress. He claims he has suffered numerous incidences of hate speech, rhetoric and actions, and has had to “endure the emotional exhaustion of carrying on in a household that disregards cultural diversity and sensitivities.” Putting up with this kind of stuff he claims has “impacted his ability to focus adequately on his kitten responsibilities, such as tearing up toilet paper and paper towel rolls, peeing in the corner, staring out the window, lazing in the sun, getting up onto the closet shelf by climbing up the hanging clothes, and being curled up on daddy’s lap.”
There’s no telling how all this will shake out, it is still early in the process. The next step is for Bullie to file an answer to Blackie’s Complaint. We’ll see what that looks like. But it is a sad state of affairs around here for sure.